2:48 - Ew

 I ate too fast. Then I blew chunks, in the toilet.
So much came out, splashed in my face.  

 You were at the party last night. I've never had such a, properly equal, bittersweet moment, when I saw your silhouette. I felt like those things, that they prop outside dealerships; The Wacky Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, a la Family Guy. I was happy to see you, then pissed that you were probably gonna consume my night, then happy that you were there, then pissed that I couldn't mack on anyone else, then happy you were there.

 I tried to ignore you, but you called me out. Majorly. Again, with the inflatable emotions. Pissed you noticed me, but happy... that you noticed me. It was cute. You hugged me. Hard. Like. Really, really hard. I tried to let go, as I know the limits & hand positioning, of "guy hugs." You wouldn't let me. Your hug gets tighter. It was annoying. As I was face down in your chest, feeling your backbone, I realized, "It's what I wanted." I wanna be annoyed by him. Cus I have this void that needs to be filled.
 
 The night goes on. I persist to ignore you & mingle like I do. I miss the fuck out of parties. I always have a following, by the end of the night. I love Kealy. I really don't know what it is about her. I saw her not 5 days before, but, it didn't make me any less excited to see her. 

 Walking out Emory's door I see you & your best friend. I smile, acknowledging your presence, as politely & slightly as possible. Then...

You: Trevor! Are you gonna ignore me again?!

Me: ... Ha

You: *Grabbing me & holding me til it kiiiiiiinda fuckin hurt* Do you love me?

Me: ...Haha? *Then I attempt to walk away*

You: *Pulling harder* No, seriously! *We make eye contact* Do you really love me?

Me: ...I wouldn't lie to you, Cole. 

 I'm not quite sure if I said yes, or not. So I didn't put it in. But. That was such an intense moment, Im surprised I remember that much. 

 I look around & I start feeling an awkward vibe from the like 8 people that might've witnessed that. I try to walk away, but not without a slight struggle. Your left hand held tight to my left arm, then you let go. Inflatable man. Shit. 


What. Just. Happened?

I got to baby you to the car. You were a hot fucking mess. You pinky promised you'd text me when you got home. Then you asked if I'd text you, instead. I pinky promised I would. 


One of us held up to our end.